The other day , a friend of mine had 1400 people in her Facebook group and she narrowed it down to 300 people. This would raise eyebrows on many faces. Why would you narrow down your Facebook group population. Don’t you want a crowd? Isn’t a large buzz what you want? To me, this was indeed a very bold step.

Reason being, a lot of the people on the group were dormant and not contributing anything at all. If anything, some were channelling a bad vibe, or sitting on the fence observing, hating on content, other group members and being envious silently.

Maybe you have people like that in your life. People you keep around for popularity sake, to keep the numbers rising, to keep the group full, to keep the gatherings buzzing. My friends, you do not want the wrong buzz. More often than not, it is best to let go.


Detoxification (detox) is the physiological or medicinal removal of toxic substances from a living organism, including the human body, which is mainly carried out by the liver.

Our lives need detoxification as well from time to time. The toxic substances are usually bad habits and negative people. The liver in the case of detoxifying your life is your mind.

But how do we point out these toxic substances?

This brings us to the reasons why we should let go. We realise we have toxic substances in our bodies – in this case negative people – by noticing negative changes in our lives:

  1. You’re not happy: You start to notice your mood fluctuates a lot more than usual. Mostly while you’re with those negative people, or when they leave, you start to grieve what they did, what they said, or how they made you feel.
  2. Your growth rate’s don’t match, you’re way ahead: thus they are intimidated, instead of celebrating you they are castigating you, and this is detrimental to your self esteem
  3. You’re becoming more and more like your negative and cynical friends: that negative voice in your mind is suddenly louder and sounding a lot more like the people that you hang around with
  4. Your goals and ambitions aren’t what they used to be: you’re allowing people to regulate your decimal point. In mathematics, when the decimal point is moved to the wrong position, the numbers value changes, don’t let anyone change your value. Don’t settle for less just because someone has told you you’re reaching too high or your dreams are too big. When you realise your goals, dreams and ambitions are not as big as they used to be, you need to watch out who you’ve been sharing those dreams and ambitions with.
  5. You’re always afraid and not willing to take risks, because their own fear is contagious, automatically their fear is transferred to you.
  6. You don’t let go of the past and its easy for you to keep a grudge and be malicious, which can lead to different illnesses. Malice is very ungodly.
  7. You’re not learning anymore, you’re just stagnant , because you’re busy thinking of what other people will say which is leaving you on the same spot.

So how do I let go? 

As I mentioned before, the mind is the organ that helps you detoxify the toxic substances from you life. You need to accept whats happening and set your mind to release these people from your every day routine and eventually your entire life.

Here are Ways to let go of toxic people:

  1. Accept the truth and be grateful for what you have learnt : don’t be bitter towards these people or yourself. Just accept what has happened. Embracing something helps you get over it.
  2. Lay off, distance yourself, give them space, and give yourself space, people may call it pride but do not be put off by that, its better to move on. Discipline yourself not to call or text for hang outs, decline offers from them to meet up, with time you’ll part ways.
  3. Accept what you can’t change and work on what you can – Be in charge of your life, and not your friends: you can’t change these toxic people, so don’t make it your responsibility. What you can do is pray for them, wish them well. What you can change is the bad habits or thought patterns you’ve caught on, so focus on changing that.
  4. Focus inward: a continuation from the previous point, focus on yourself and not your friend that you have let go.
  5. Change the people around you, when you let go of the negative people … good and positive ones come around
  6. Learn to love yourself , celebrate yourself regularly, pat yourself on the back, learn to appreciate yourself and encourage yourself, as you may not get it from others, as that’s the best formula to build your own confidence.

Here are some quotes to help cement what you’ve just read 🙂


“Let go, or be dragged”  – Zen Proverb

“Don’t allow people who do so little for you control so much of your feelings and emotions” – Vowero Otomewo-Oriakhi a.k.a Lady V 

“Some people come into your life just to teach you how to let go” – Anonymous

I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone” – Robbie Williams

“When people walk away from you, let them go. Your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you, and it doesn’t mean they are bad people. it just means that their part in your story is over.” – Bishop TD Jakes

“When people leave, iIt just means they are part of your history and not your destiny, a small fraction of your journey and not part of  your destination. So as we say in pidgin english, make dem waka (nothing spoil)”  – Vowero Otomewo-Oriakhi a.k.a Lady V

I hope you enjoyed my first blog post!

I am a confidence coach so my mission is to nurture peoples confidence. We need to be mindful of the people we keep close as they do affect how we feel about ourselves, thus, damage our self esteem and confidence.

If you have any questions on this topic, or have a question you’d like me to answer, or have a topic in mind you’d like my opinion on, feel free and send me an email: